You’re wrong. I’m not humorless. Just because I call you out for your inappropriate behavior or comments does not mean I lack a sense of humor. I’m not going to laugh at your rape joke. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t hear you use “faggot” or “gay” as an insult. I’m not going to just let it slide when you equate female genitalia with weakness. I’m not going to keep quiet when you try and spread blatantly false information presenting it as “facts.” None of this will happen, because I’ve been blursed* with a strong sense of right and wrong and a big mouth. And a pugnacious/contrarian streak. When you say something racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, classist, or factually incorrect I’m going to call you out on it. This doesn’t make me the PC-police, it doesn’t make me a femme-nazi, it doesn’t make me humorless or unreasonable, it makes me someone who stands up for what she believes in. I wouldn’t have to call you an ass if you’d just stop acting like one.
I’m not even asking for that much. Sure, it would be great if you stopped and actually considered the sort of systemic prejudice that allows you to so freely disparage certain groups with impunity, or if you considered why you hold such views to begin with, but all I’m asking is that you stop expressing them in public. I’m not so foolish to think that we’re in a post-racial society, but I do think it’s progress that few people think they can utter the N-word in public and not expect a serious backlash. (Though I don’t necessarily think it’s progress of any kind that I’m afraid to type out the whole word, but that’s a discussion for a different time all together.) Ideally, don’t be a bigot, but I will settle for a change in mores that prevents you from running around polite society spewing hate, because while it may not change a thing about you, at least you won’t be hurting others around you. And no, it doesn’t matter if you “didn’t mean it like that,” or if you think it’s “just an expression.” It’s hateful and harmful, even if you never critically engaged your own language deeply enough to realize that. Indeed, it is that insidious, subtle bigotry that may be the hardest to eradicate.
I’m sure there are things that you would be offended if I mocked. We all have things we hold dear, and your love of the military or religion or Reagan is no more valid than my love of basic human decency, tolerance, and respect. I’m also a fan of a healthy debate, so if you disagree with me, by all means call me out. I’m a big girl, I can handle it, and I may even learn something from you. I don’t think we’re doing anyone any favors by refusing to engage one another and surrounding ourselves in cozy echo-chambers, which seems to becoming the norm in our ever increasingly polarized society. Voice your disagreement**, don’t take things at face value, challenge people. Don’t write people off because they “need to lighten up.” That’s just weak. If your ideas are sound they should be able to withstand close scrutiny, so what are you so afraid of?
Yours in Somewhat Righteous Indignation,
AGSC
*Blursed is a portmanteau of blessed and cursed. Ok fine, it’s not a real word and I made it up. But I like it, and I don’t know of a real word that expresses exactly that. If both the Bard of Avon and the Bard of Wasilla can make up words I’m going to take a crack at it too, as I’m confident that my literary prowess falls somewhere on the spectrum between those two.
**Given the season I should caution that maybe holiday dinners with your whacky uncle are not the best venue to begin doing this. Knowledge of this fact has never stopped me, but maybe you don’t want your holidays to be a cringefest for everyone else, and you probably understand the meaning of “pick your battles.” (I pick ALL OF THEM, I’m told I don’t get it.)
observations of the absurd 